Ex wants closure reddit. I’m sorry for some of the comments on here.

Ex wants closure reddit During the break up I expressed to him all of my reasons for wanting to end the relationship (me not wanting kids vs. It shouldn't take more than 4 sentences. I'm in the camp that we need to make our own closure and not rely on or hope for others to give it to us. Said she was just scared and needed to work on her life and we'd talk about retrying in a couple months. He was the one who ended things with me last fall. Not expecting an answer but at least now I can rest knowing I tried. I think if you don't feel completely comfortable responding or you're questioning their motives, then don't respond. It seems like he was the only one investing time and effort into the relationship, driving for 6 hours each time they meet, bringing her to events and generally adjusting his life so he has time for her. Meeting for closure for the end of a relationship almost never actually means they want closure. Aug 14, 2023 · From your above post, I notice similarities from my ex who was a straight up narcissist and emotionally abusive. Tell her “you shouldn’t be worried about closure from him, you should be worried about closure from me. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. So does she. Your ex sucks. It has been a long year getting over him. i got broken up with pretty similar and thought about a “closure talk” aswell but the thing is when someone blindsided you on a breakup they are most likely an avoidant so the closure talk that you want to have will not happen. I think if you go into these genuinely looking for closure then they could be really helpful. Don't dump your heart out. No. Mar 13, 2018 · It's OK to want to rekindle things with an ex — hey, Even if you have no interest in rekindling your romance, mending old wounds and getting closure with an ex is still worthwhile: it can You will feel that contacting them will make you feel better. She doesn’t want closure, or to give you any real closure honestly. Block him and go No Contact. She just wants to make herself feel better for saying things to you, and doesn’t particularly care whether it helps you or not. Just finally reached out to my ex after over four months radio silence because I had too much pride to ask for an explanation or any closure. She would not allow you to meet up with one of your exes. him wanting, me not getting along with his family as he would have wished, him not having his life together while I'm ready to move forward in life, etc. Her telling you that you were right doesn’t help you. I did find it odd, why he wants to have a closure after all these years. So if I were you, I'd place little hope on him saying or doing anything that will bring the closure Jan 18, 2023 · my ex wants to talk to get closure and smooth things over, he broke up with me and it hurt me a lot. I don't want to offend anyone in Me-22m her-20f Dated a girl for 20 months She was out of the country for 10 weeks (early May- late July) I haven't seen her since she got back… Because the mechanism behind waiting for closure is that you essentially wait for your ex to give you a reason to move forward without them. My most recent ex, the one that made me write this post, told me she loved me to the bitter end. I was on board because I genuinely wanted to make the relationship work and I thought him wanting to go to therapy meant he did as well. Your ex is the type of woman who cannot respect a man unless other women want that man. This morning, five months after my ex completely blindsided me and offered me no closure or understanding, she called to tell me that she still wanted to be my friend but that she was seeing someone. I didn't have to contact or speak to her to receive that closure. But “coming back” isn’t always what you think it or want it to be. I know I shouldn’t want him back, but unfortunately that is not the reality. I don’t think you’re crazy. During a lot of this time, she had a boyfriend of 3 years and she had just recently broken up with him. I'm going to message my ex about meeting for a closure meeting so that I can better understand what was going on in her mind rather than it translating into trust issues for me in future 46 votes, 52 comments. ” I’d laugh at how cheesy she sounded if it weren’t all so depressing. You don't want to make your new woman insecure by visiting with an ex flame. When she ends the relationship with im afraid of us fighting in the future ,and sorry for hurting you after dragging my ass for half a year avoiding me and neglecting me , im pretty sure i did everything i could and always tried to communicate and solve Your ex wants to continue to harass you and insult you. Just so you understand, she doesn’t want to give YOU closure. I got it, but it was through working on myself and moving on. He will be in her ear whispering all she wants to hear. If my BFs ex was to say any of this to him and I found out or he wasn’t just shutting her down straight away, I would leave him immediately Hej everybody. Rules for you, but not her. If you think the conversation will give you some more closure then go for it, as long as you don't get hurt. unless you both plan to go back together, leave the past in the past. He is still in the same place, but jobless and has a lack of ambition. Never reach out to an ex. If she has any sense of self-preservation her ass needs to stay away from AP . In her own words “every second of everyday, I crave his desire. Just end it and make clear that contact should stop. She will probably never tell the same story as to why it ended as you. Then decide if you want to meet up based on what he says. He wants “closure” to suck you back in. It's realizing over time why things ended and that your life has more up ahead than what the relationship brought. You want them to admit that your feelings are justified because of how badly they treated you. I(F24) ended my 3 year long relationship with my ex (M25) about a month and a half ago. She's being a hypocrit. I told her that if we call I'm going to block her afterwards for her own good because this needs to stop. I’m new to Reddit and this is my first post. From your above post, I notice similarities from my ex who was a straight up narcissist and emotionally abusive. I've had heartwarming closure talk with a situationship "ex", that really helped me heal from a bad breakup prior, gain perspective on how said relationship had always been flawed, and despite what I had been led to believe that I have love and kindness to offer. Jul 25, 2023 · After thinking it over for a while, getting some feedback from reddit and talking about it with family and friends, i decided to tell him i wanted us to get a divorce which he agreed right away (6 years of us being together and 2 of marriage). If he can’t respect you enough to give you closure and he disrespects you by making you cry and saying mean things, I think it’s time for you to accept that you’ll never get closure from him and that’s okay. This is one of the best posts I have read on reddit. Let it flow. I’m also not a native in English (Im from Germany) so sorry if my grammar is not correct. Ex wants to meet up in a week and talk about the break up to get closure. Posted by u/Hot-Entrepreneur7987 - 3 votes and 15 comments Now she's texting me saying that she needs more closure and that she wants to call me. It is about YOU, what you want and what is best for you. Your source of peace and tranquility is now your source of pain and trauma. It's not ok for him to be telling his ex that he still loves her while he's in a relationship with you. I texted him wishing him well because my feelings for him were genuine. And if we do I’m almost sure she’ll want to have sex, which I’m okay with. She is offering me to come over to her house afterwards because her parents wont be home and we can talk. That's a red flag right there. Dont talk like you know whats up please . 9M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. You’re seeking their acceptance, and want them to admit that you were right and they were wrong and that you deserve to feel that kind of pain based on what they did to you. I'm pretty sure she just wants to talk. Mine didn’t either and I’ll never forget it. Therefore you just need to give yourself closure. People sometimes "see the light" in their past choices and want to make peace with them. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse… Apparently, she’s tortured to the extremes by thoughts of her ex. They don’t anymore, I’m very different and I want different things from my partners. But I don’t want to get back together, feel like having sex would just do more harm than good. You don't need closure from her bc the reality is she probably pushes blame on you. Initially I was going to because it was a serious relationship but by the time I had that closure talk 2 weeks after the BU I realised that if she is so on the fence about me to BU and the realise it's a mistake and want to get back together she just isn't the one. Crypto 21 votes, 33 comments. TLDR: Very wealthy ex wants to meet up for "closure" years after we broke up. Closure is the assurance that the end is the real An ex wants to meet up after 4 years of no contact to get closure I declined until he revealed his real reason for wanting to meet up. They want an excuse contact with you and asually they use that excuse as a way of overcoming your objections and to try to get back with you. Jan 18, 2023 · my ex wants to talk to get closure and smooth things over, he broke up with me and it hurt me a lot. Honestly most psychologists, including my own therapist believe in closure. 12M subscribers in the relationship_advice community. Don't be afraid of asking yourself the endless questions your mind and heart makes. Even if you're "just curious" don't open doors to the past. ). There is potential that your ex would give you genuine closure, or answer unanswered questions you have. In my experience they almost always come back. My (26f) ex (28m) reached out to me after a year of no contact. He wants to get back together. They usually come back when you’ve began to move on, they usually have a hard time flat out admitting they’re wrong and want you back, it’ll never be the same. 2 people have to consciously build a new relationship and start from scratch. In reality, you’re looking for validation. Here is my story. So please stop . Depends what you want, if you feel you're moving on and doing well then I would probably just leave it. Said she didnt want to be with anyone atm. He said he wants to know what went down between them so that they can be on better terms in future. Especially if you get into a serious relationship, having those ties are never worth it cause they'll only ruin good things, even if the ex "just wants to be friends" move on. EDIT: Didn't respond and blocked him on FB. I understand my ex wants closure but the reason why I don’t give it to him is because we never even had a title we was honestly fwb but I knew he was catching feelings since I was chillen with him and my kids. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic… You were after the opposite - an opening, not a closure. Basically, he wants to know that he's not an asshole. Hey everyone! Last night I heard a song that my ex introduced me to, and was surprised that I still even thought about her, albeit briefly. If you want closure too, or are willing to offer that, then sure, talk to her about it. I’m (F24), My boyfriend (M26), The Ex (F26) Ok. My brother was brokenhearted when his ex moved to Canada and cheated on him. first you should know that your ex will not give you the closure that you need if anything it will leave you even Posted by u/nonyme - 2 votes and 7 comments My ex suggested this to me after he’d moved out. Tell her to go and stay gone. Doesn't matter how it's going for him Anything he says will just leave you to want more. She wrote quite directly that she wants to meet up with me to talk… She said it herself. so my boyfriend has known his ex for 5 years and started dating for 1 year and broke up. He has shown you he does not want contact with you and you have to deal with the pain of that and respect his distance. He wants control. My gf asked me to unfriend my ex, and she explained why she wanted me to. Because of FB's algorithm, my ex was liking/laugh reacting to a lot of my posts before my gf saw them. I don’t want to get my hopes up when I see their name on my phone just to get a string of better explained reasons why they don’t want to be with me. I would say you should trust yourself & ur gut feeling. She'll probably drive by your place when she's in town. I’m sorry for some of the comments on here. Been there too many times. Trust me on this. He wants to win. Before this happens, you will think that there's still hope and don't want to leave any possibility on the table. She wants validation that what she did wasn’t that bad and you forgive her. She feels bad that she’s probably being perceived as a villain and needs you to tell her she isn’t for her own ego. You have to choose one otherwise you will loose both. He's probably going to meet out to get things off of his chest and make himself feel better by "giving you closure" and "explaining" or something There's nothing for him to explain that would change things. I have been through a very similar marriage also 8 years but I was the wife. Hi everyone. Try to remember that when you feel sad or lonely or miss them. He broke up with you for another girl. You dont know anything ,you dont know what happened , what i did , what she did . But its possible you would get the closure you want instead of constantly wondering or filling the blanks in Don’t put yourself through the turmoil of confronting your ex because you’re expending energy that is better spent elsewhere. I would ask her if she has ever read about Brittany Barron. I met my ex in a very different state of mind and period of my life and at the time, they suited my life just fine. The closure is she got caught if she wants closure the lawyer you hire will give her closure when she has to see a divorce judge. They don't give you closure for a reason - they want you to hang on there guessing and that makes them feel "empowered", also it is a technique used by narcissists and cluster B's so they can easily hoover you back in whenever they want. Closure is healing over time to where you're break up fades into memories and only carries the lessons learned. To feel certain in that it's really over and that this ship has sailed. . He wants power. Do things you wanted to do for yourself that you have never done, kick bad habits that you have, learn a new skill or hobby. My ex and I could at least be friends, because we did have a good connection at one point in time. Found her on tinder multiple times within the first month of the breakup If you were dumped by ex because he/she "do not feel anything anymore", and you have feelings for your ex and want him/her back, and you are mentally strong enough - not staying in contact is the only way to do so. "Closure" doesn't mean contacting them necessarily. I realized what a loser my ex is and how good I have it now. Then bailed when I started looking for therapists and appointments. 8 years after the girlfriend visited and wants to meet up, my brother that time is already in a happy relationship and the ex is already married. Tell her no more than that and say you need to go. For me it was the exact opposite, didn’t had any contact with my ex for nearly 10 months, was blocked nearly everywhere and the end of June I noticed she looked at one of my insta stories while she didn’t follow me and for me it was a kind of affirmation that she did still care about me at least a bit which i didn’t believe before that moment 🤔 The thing about closure is that sometimes it never comes or it’s never the closure we want/need. It’s completely understandable that you would want closure or an explanation, and I’m sorry your ex wasn’t decent enough to give you that. However, this morning I get a mssg from her, meaning she unblocked me to send the mssg, and she is asking to go for a coffee to have a closure chat. Although I do miss it with her, I don’t want to make her feel used. Your closure is going to come from how you learn to accept and work through your own discomfort. She doesn’t feel bad for what she did. If you send any message, simply tell him what you are doing. That’s what you want this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. It definitely gave me closure because I always felt like I liked him more than he liked me. P. And so I did. my ex wants to talk to get closure and smooth things over, he broke up with me and it hurt me a lot. Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or… Business, Economics, and Finance. Closure is not something you can give someone or receive from someone. Just remember it only takes one conversation to get closure. This seems a bit odd to me. Sometimes, closure doesn’t come. He says he still loves me and can’t sleep at night, and wants to meet to settle it once and for all and be able to move on. Last week, we were having a late night chat when he said that he was thinking to meet his ex to get closure, to talk about what exactly went wrong. The fact that she doesn’t want to have you drive tells you that maybe the restaurant isn’t the last stop. Closure is something you give yourself, you can't expect someone else to do it. The only reason he keeps saying that "i still love you" bullshit is because his ex isn't reciprocating, and leaving him feeling like a dipshit. Just a comment on the "closure" part of Your post: no you don't. Currently, in college, I’ve been hanging out with this girl for quite some time we have always been a little flirty and we get along great. Closure, like forgiveness, is something you do for yourself. I agree with your therapist. My ex-friend wants closure Emotional Advice They want closure with me but the thing is they traumatized me in a way by raising their voice, yelling at me, saying all the worst ways possible to make me feel bad, made my entire friend group turn against me by spreading the worst parts of me, and made my best friend hate me. My ex just contacted me after 1 month and 2 weeks of no contact. "Closure" is just the latest tactic to demand your time and attention. I only want to hear from my ex if they want to get back together, even if I myself don’t want to get back together. I've been on a few dates with a girl I'm starting to really like, and I don't know whether or not I should tell my ex girlfriend. My ex wants to meet up for closure? Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago after a 2 year relationship and we just broke contact a few days ago. Exactly. You know his intentions. I'd understand if she was the scorned one asking you to help her understand what happened years later, but it sounds like she is looking for ways to feel better for whatever she did wrong that lead to the bad fallout. Closure isn't "talking to your ex until you feel better about the break up". Her wanting to give an ex closure is bullshit and you know it. We decided to leave children with the grand parents and organized an impromptu date night instead. You really want closure, write inspirational notes on sticky notes, and place those everywhere in your apartment. He sent a long apology for the things he did wrong towards the end of our relationship. I needed "closure" after my relationship with an abusive ex. Closure is permission to move on, but you can ultimately grant that to yourself. Do what's best for you. I haven’t had a real conversation with him in 2 months, the time apart has helped and I have a new perspective on the relationship now. The thing is, this closure your ex wants is pretty selfish. They’ve been good friends for over 7 years and dated for a year and she tells me how she still loves him/wants to forget about him by doing this. Posted by u/Playful_Degree1472 - 1 vote and 3 comments I just don’t want to mess her up if we do meet. “ That’s right – YOU need to give YOU permission to move on much like YOU need to forgive yourself and others so that you can let go of anything negative that is holding you back. 94K subscribers in the BPDlovedones community. A few more years pass, and my gf asks me to unfriend my ex. I recently (3months) ago broke up with my ex. I totally agree that moving on from an avoidant ex is something very difficult, but it is your call if you want to invest A LOT of effort and time to get her back, then you need a lot of patience. I don’t want anything bad to happen to my ex I just don’t want anything to do with them anymore :/ life goes on and stuff As a guy who's currently struggling with not getting closure after the sudden end of a long-term relationship, I was expecting to give a somewhat different response here - and I do want to say generally speaking that if you break someone's heart you do owe them some closure/explanation/hash-out (so please ignore the "people ghost every day, you What I meant, your avoidant ex will miss you once they feel they lost you and you are no longer available for them. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. “ I met up with an ex while in a relationship with my current boyfriend. true. I thought that maybe by reaching out to her (we've been no contact for quite some time) just to finally and clearly state that I've moved on and I wish her the best, I may recieve some closure and finally stop these invasive correlative thoughts. Sep 13, 2022 · I've had heartwarming closure talk with a situationship "ex", that really helped me heal from a bad breakup prior, gain perspective on how said relationship had always been flawed, and despite what I had been led to believe that I have love and kindness to offer. Now gf cheated on her then ex to be with me, now she’s back in her hometown (where her ex is) for holidays and says she wants to see him just once for closure. But instead, he's being an asshole to you. He doesn’t owe you his attention, his time, or his energy. The true closure you can give him is a hearty fuck off. She said she wants a divorce and profusely apologized for marrying me when she wasn’t fully over him. I want to meet up with my ex for closure but in reality I know its because I just want to see her again. There is a really slim chance your ex will reach to you in this case, most probably they will use NC to move on faster, that's it. I'd maybe either call or text and ask him specifically why he wants to meet up. Then those moments when you’re feeling down all you have to do is look in a random area and it should help boost you back up. We were dating for almost 3 years and the beginning of it was really good and fun. ” She is going on a date with her ex, a man she knows wants to be with her. Closure involves moving forward and going after new experiences and building yourself more into the person you want to be while learning from this relationship. Your ex doesn’t give you closure, YOU do. It will eventually become your closure as you answer them one by one. You did the best you could and she wasn't your forever person. You see someone attractive, you have a bit of chemistry but you are not that compatible but people still try to get into a relationship just so they can have sex with them and once it’s not something new and Closer is she isn't onto the street . No hard feelings though but the current girl really hates the ex so much. If she keeps asking to meet up with you after that, then she's seeking something else. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage In fact I think it is one of the reasons why there are a lot of failing relationships and heartbroken people on dating subs on reddit. It might be legitimate. I'm wondering if she wants a closure chat because she must be feeling guilty about essentially cheating on me. The worst that could happen is that you wont get your questions answered. S. Then I met him and we started dating, we’ve been dating for over a year and started living with each other for the last 6-8 months. We tried to stay friends afterwards for a few months, but I still had lingering feelings for him… The friendship between my boyfriend and his ex doesn’t make sense to me and I am constantly worried that this very thing is going to happen. Tbf for me he doesn't sound abusive but like someone who reached his breaking point. wicpu cqtem dialnyh mmtqz jvumv fcdfeza bvbeqz uisvc axjc getfy jkwr yuo blff bywh nqnfh